Self-esteem and emotional weight

Welcome to Heal Talk Tuesdays with Liza, where
transformation begins as we evoke, embrace, and evolve.
Greetings, greetings, greetings, greetings, and welcome to Heal Talk Tuesdays.
It’s so good to be here with you, isn’t it?
This is Liza Boubari, your expert hypnotherapist, and coming here every
week on Facebook’s live, and I’ve been doing this for the last seven years.
Second week in April will be seven years, and I truly feel humbled
and privileged to be present every week, and have people like you
who truly touch my heart and say, “Thank you, I learned so much from
you, I hear you, even when I am not live, I go back and listen.”
So, just a few days ago I was at an event, it was a kids event,
Zakasar, kids festival here in Glendale, and you know what?
One of the most beautiful parts was that I was shared with me, I see you,
I know who you are, and keep doing it because you are making a difference.
So, the message is that we hear, the messages
that we incorporate, the messages that I share.
It’s some are truly from my heart, I speak from my heart, and I get information, I
interview folks, and I know that it may not be for everybody, but the work that I do,
as a clinical health therapist, stress management consultant is truly to bring not
only information, inspiration, but also some fun and enjoyment in your daily life.
So, today I want to talk about something, and as you
know, I work on self confidence and self esteem, work
very much with anxiety, folks who come to me with anxiety
and insomnia, but more importantly, it is the weight.
The weight that we hold on to, the weight that we pack on,
the weight that it is placed upon us, that it’s not something
that you see, and that you recognize, I work with emotional
weight, and the burdens that we carry from a long time ago.
So, allow me to give you an example, a client of mine yesterday,
we’re working via Zoom, and yes, I do Zoom sessions as well.
So, as we’re talking, and getting to another layer after the
second session is like, all the things that she heard as a child.
We’re not talking about trauma, but it’s traumatic to her.
So, there is a difference, what is traumatic
to us, and what is trauma itself, and things
can be trauma, that’s the experience, but
traumatic is what we incorporate internally.
So, what was traumatic to her was, the things people said, how she
was bullied and ridiculed and made fun of as a kid being overweight.
And in her family, there was not many people, even
adults or even cousins that are overweight, but she was.
And she felt this sense of, I’m not good
enough, maybe I don’t belong, because she had a
sister, and it was like her mom and her grandma
would say, you could eat anything you want.
Because she was very thin, and her hair was like, stop eating, you
can’t do this. You can’t have that. She can have it, you can’t.
So, she inside herself, what she believed was,
I’m not good enough, I’m not loved as she is.
And so, she started packing more and eating more. Why?
Because food, you know this, eat food is a comforting thing.
What is your comfort thing? Is food one of the things
that becomes your comfort is food a traditional now.
And you have Easter coming, spring is here, the kids are all on spring
break. So, what is it that we are doing? We’re breaking bread with families.
Traditions coming, we are doing a lot of things that are
traditional and a lot of cookies and cakes and baking, right?
So, all this can also create stress for some children and working with
kids in weight. This is what happens. She’s grown up to be 37 years old.
Now, she’s overweight, resent herself, if you just can’t let it go.
I talk about secrets we keep. I have talked about the burdens we keep. But
her thing is, I am so resentful of how they ridiculed me, how I was bullied.
And just because I was fat and not only because I
was fat, I loved food. And food was my comfort zone.
So, she shared that every time she wanted to find this place, she would go
and steal food from the refrigerator, go and hide in the garage and eat.
So, she feels good. It gave her a sense of comfort. She
is like medicating herself as a child, seven years old.
As adults, we medicate ourselves in different ways. Food, true,
can be cigarettes, can be alcohol, can be drugs, it can be…
So many ways that something that it became a habitual turned into a daily
part of our behavior and then it continued to be part of who we are.
So, while these years, she has resented herself. True, our work,
she’s come to peel away and understand it was not about her.
You know, after this so many times, what can’t you
see me beyond my body? What can’t you see me beyond my
accent? And I know I used to have this chip over my
shoulder. Listen to the words, chip over my shoulder that…
Or even anyone spoke, I would think they’re going
to judge me and criticize me because of my accent.
Now, shifted. Her’s has become. I know the moment I walk in, they’re
looking at my body and saying, “How fat I am.” And they’re not seeing me.
So, through our work, she’s come to see herself, not her body. And I
don’t know how this can be translated to what you are going through.
Because who you are is not your body, is not your behavior, it’s
not your habits, the spirit of who you are is accumulation of all
that. And yet, it is not who you are. You know, I was listening to
Wayne Dyer a few weeks ago. I listened to podcasts all the time.
And this message that he was sharing resonated with me and it said,
“When we die and we’re laying in bed, if they weigh that body,” right?
I know it doesn’t matter, it’s we, you, me, he, she, it doesn’t matter. When
the person is dying at that very moment, if they weigh that to the ounce, okay?
Let’s say it’s 164 pounds and seven ounces. The moment
the person is gone, the heart stops beating and the body
goes cold and the spirit that leaves the body at that very
moment, if they weigh the body, it will weigh the same.
What’s internal, it means who we are. Is inside this body, is part of this body,
the body houses us, shields us and protects us, who we are is not the body.
And yet, we function with the body, we can’t do
without it, right? We need to heart, that pumps
oxygenated blood, we need to think and even the Bible,
Easter is here, think it and it shall be, right?
So every thought is creating the way we think,
the way we become, but is it true? Is it?
Having a big body and thinking that someone is not seeing
her, we shift it and I said, and how do you see yourself?
It’s not so much important as others, but how we see ourselves, what
we do, how we speak, how kind we are with the person inside this body.
And if we are ridiculing, if we are self-sabotaging, self-herding,
self-criticizing and keeping all the resentments, we’re keeping it.
The other people from childhood have gone, right? Parents, they said something.
So this repetition of what we think, what you think is yours.
You want to make a change from the outside? We start with it.
The name of my company is “Heal with it.” Why? Because that’s exactly
what I did. When 25 years ago, as a legal assistant, I was working in
the law firm, when I went to the doctor and my gynecologist told me
I have another ovarian cyst and it’s grown and this was the third one.
Before it grows to be the 9.2 or 8.7 centimeters,
he already scheduled to have a surgery.
How do I not come back to the law firm? How do I not share this information
with the HR director? She would not have sent me to the acupuncturist.
On the second session, the acupuncturist would not have shared
this information that hypnotherapy can heal with ovarian cysts.
Now, 25 years later, practicing only this exact same thing and
because I healed within, I realized what it is that I am holding onto.
The resentment, shame, guilt, it affected my sexual organs because of it
was direct correlation to relationship and I’m not saying everything is.
So, healing within, healing within. When I work with you,
we come to understand, peel away, what is it that you are
keeping, the emotional connections to your body because you
have grown up, hopefully, so you can stand up for yourself.
Those kids are no longer, hopefully, the bullies,
either they have grown up and they are no longer
bullies or if they continued, hopefully they are
not in your social or community or your friends.
Hopefully, you are not keeping the bullies as friends
or both of you have evolved. We can’t let go of
family, but it is how we feel and when you come to
heal inside and realize you are no longer that kid.
Your hands are not that little hands, your body is not that little body or
the big body as a child. You have grown up, expanded, developed, blossomed.
If your internal dialogue, the words are still of that child and that’s
what we work with. So, you become kinder to the kid within you, not them.
And when you start loving you and see you beyond your body, which is
her or him, and you say, “I see you for who you are because you are me.”
This is powerful. This is deep work. And if you can stand in front of the mirror,
maybe for the first time look yourself in the mirror and say, “I do see you.”
And from this day forward, I promise to be kinder and more loving towards you.
And you blink or you do this where you can even hug yourself.
This is one of the most powerful ways that you can hug yourself
because when you see yourself in the mirror, you see you.
The emotional burdens, resentments, the guilt, the shame.
The moment you recognize you, honor you, respect you, see you.
Then everything that you hold and you keep to protect you can start nothing away.
Sometimes you may need a coach. Sometimes you may need to delve deeper into
other ones of holding onto behaviors and habits, and that’s why I’m here.
And it would be my honor to guide you, hold your
hand, hold space for you, no matter what it is.
In order for you to reach your desired goal. And that’s why my three-e
method, the 3E-Boubari method, was developed and has been trademarked.
It is because we evoke what was, so that we can embrace who we are,
to hear the present to reality and involve to all your desired goals.
And that is the three-e. That’s what we stand up
for, because you matter. Bottom line, you matter.
This is right here on my wrist that I never take
off and I do sell it. It’s on my website, you can go
to my website, healwithin.com, and go to the store,
go to the shop, and you will find the bracelet.
And I’m doing an explanation about this, but
when you have this, it will always be a reminder.
If I evoke embrace, evolve, and when you turn it around is because I matter.
If no one else says it to you,
anchor yourself with this. Give yourself, or the ones that you care for and love.
Get one of those and give that to them. I
have it in gold, I have it in silver, and you
say, you matter to me, and I want you to remember you matter. So they see, I matter.
Having Easter coming, it’s a lot of traditions,
it’s joy, it’s breaking bread, it’s doing the eggs,
coloring eggs, and I know sometimes no matter how
joyous it is, sometimes it can be stressful with family.
And with that, I want you to know. Heal with in, so as
you do, the energy that flows, energy that transmutes,
energy that you give, they will see that you have healed, and they can’t.
You know, when an elevator is out of order, no matter
how many times you push that button, it’s out of order.
It’s not going to turn red, it’s not going to
lie down, and it’s not going to trigger you.
I hope today’s message was beneficial to you. If
you enjoyed it, please like, share, make a comment.
Hi everyone, and by all means, subscribe to my YouTube channel, which is Liza Boubari.
And until next week, I want to say God bless
you, made a universal light surround you.
Next week, I have a special guest, and you’re going to
see some changes happening, which is absolutely amazing.
And until then, I bid you goodbye. Thank you, thank you for
all of you for being present and supporting our channel. Bye.
Bye.