Exploring Authenticity: Balancing Our True and Public Selves

Greetings, greetings, greetings, greetings, and welcome to Heal Talk Tuesday.
This is Liza.
It’s so good to be here with you, isn’t it?
Today is, today’s message, my podcast, my
Heal Talk Tuesday is going to be something.
quite different.
You know why?
Because it’s about being authentic.
What exactly is authentic?
It’s this buzzword we hear everywhere, be true to yourself, be authentic.
So I was questioning, what does authentic really mean?
Am I being authentic?
Being here and talking with you?
Is it with you? Is it to you?
So those are the things that I was thinking about and I
shared about it with my mom this morning over breakfast.
As always, we sit together, we have this talk, what’s happening in the world,
what’s happening in the country, what’s happening inside
our house, what’s next, what are you doing, what am I doing?
So as we’re discussing, like mom, remember we did it post
a few years ago, it was like, oh my god, over 10 years ago.
And here I am sitting in front of the computer and my mom came right behind me.
And she’s like, don’t do it that way, do it this way.
And that doesn’t look like you.
Do the post something different.
And as we were discussing in our meeting, I turned around and said, at least a song,
a moment between the Aussie as he drawn them.
So in her meeting in English, if I translate it, it’s like, oh, there we go.
Mom telling the daughter what to do, what not to do.
And you know, I don’t know if this happens in your family or not.
But to this day, I love my mom.
Sometimes she’s like, no, that is right, that is not.
And, but this is who I am.
Is it?
That’s not the way you come across.
So this conversation of mother and daughter of what
is right and what is supposed to be according to food.
And if we want to think about this, it’s like, what is authentic me?
Is it your thoughts?
Is it your feelings?
Is it the way you come across for others?
What is it?
What you feel when you’re by yourself?
And your thoughts and feelings and everything,
is that the same as what other people perceive when you are with them?
So we are in a way there’s all kinds.
Some are genuinely who they are in the private life and the public life.
Some are can be introvert and the next introvert.
So we all have it.
I’m sure you have it.
That in the privacy of your home, you might be completely different person.
Or when you’re in the public, it’s your
public persona the way you trust, the way you make up everything changes.
So when we think about genuine self and
authentic self, when I work with my clients, and
they share about certain things that they
want to change, my first question is, is that
true?
Is it really true what you just said?
And if it is, that’s a whole different meaning than what we think.
Because most times it’s like people see me.
I do this for people.
And my number one priority is everything everybody else.
So when do we become authentic?
We can use techniques of journaling.
You can start writing your own, what are my
ethics, what are my values, what do I believe in?
And is it because my mom said so?
Or your husband and children believe so?
Or what you are supposed to believe according to others.
So I encourage you to genuinely take an
interest in your own beliefs without
worrying about other people’s expectation.
I remember after my father passed away, I
moved in with my mom after a
year and a half, just to be with her.
So after my long time of living by myself,
which was over 30 years, coming home, it was
like so odd because it’s like the little
girl coming home and mom saying, where you’re
going, what are you doing, the expectations,
my thoughts and beliefs of being who I am on myself?
Had to shift.
I had to think about another person that I was
living with, time being alone is different.
So the whole thing changes
when you are by yourself.
Sometimes you can be sad and angry and everything
and once that time for yourself, create that space for yourself.
So get a feedback from your friends.
Is that who I am?
Do I come across that way or not?
Hi. Hi, Anna.
Hi, Jenna.
How are you?
Here’s my question to you.
I don’t know if you live alone or you live with somebody else.
Are you the same person in your private life than in your public life?
Most people who see me, that’s who I am.
And yet I am reserved and I love
my privacy when I come home.
I have to shut down and for at least half an hour I do not speak.
I’ve got my dog, I’ve got my dog and I go out and play with my dog.
That’s my sanctuary time.
That’s my time for me.
And in the mornings, it’s the same.
I have my time with my dog and I go on hike.
That’s where I do my meditation.
That’s where I do my soul searching.
So finding that time of soul is for yourself.
And being authentic, not that you’re not
authentic or you’re lying or have this facade.
But I think we’ve wear
so many different hats, so
many different masks in order for us to fit in.
And do we all have to fit in?
Do you have to fit in?
And what is it that we are fitting in?
In high school and junior high, we have to fit in because of peer pressure.
And then at work we modify our attire, our
personal persona to fit into that environment.
So I guess as an adult, we do the same things as we do as children.
So talking to my mom this morning, I set the same thing.
She’s like, what are you going to be talking about today at Heal Talk?
What is the subject today? And I said it’s going to be about me, about us.
She’s like, you’re going to be sharing something about us.
I’m like, you know, it’s not necessarily
about us, but realizing that even as adults,
we have the same issues that
sometimes we did as when we were young.
And does it change?
Hopefully we grow to a point that instead of
getting frustrated, angry, banging the doors,
having tantrums, it’s modified to a point
of having a better communication
and finding a better way to communicate.
I know not everybody’s relationship with mom,
especially women, mothers, and daughters.
A lot of people have amazing relationships.
Others have no relationships.
And then there’s others who find ways to communicate.
Hey, it happens.
It happens in every home.
I pretty much want to see is what you get.
I am much the same person, whether I am alone
or with an amazing, at home, maybe casual, then I am at work as a hypnotherapist.
I’m more focused on others in public and I am more self focused at home.
Exactly.
But I love that.
Being the same.
It’s who you are.
That’s because you are comfortable with who you are.
I am very comfortable with who I am.
I’m comfortable in my skin.
I’m comfortable with my personality.
And I have absolutely no worries or issues about what others say.
As a matter of fact, I welcome critique.
And here’s the difference.
There is a difference between critique and criticism.
It is putting some fault and putting someone
down in a way that what you said, what you
did, what you look like, it’s wrong or it’s bad.
Versus critique is, by the way, may I share something.
And if I may, if you were to do this, it would be better for you.
I think it is for their benefit, not our benefit.
So that’s the difference between criticism and critique.
Since I was a kid, I welcomed critique.
So I can be better in my communication.
Am I changing my accent?
The way I stand, the way I walk.
Yes, it shows because I do come across confidence.
Thank you for seeing that because I feel confident in my expertise as a clinical
health therapist for after 24 years of doing this, I believe in the work.
And I’ve seen results.
So it’s not doing the work.
Pendulum.
We can easily help our clients as a whole
and finding many ways and modalities to help
someone.
And my clients seem in general as who I am.
And I hope most of the people who watch this
can realize I do the same thing at home.
And I’ve shifted communication at home and what
everyone else is critique versus criticism.
And once we learn that and accept it, it
becomes so much better because we don’t know it all.
And if someone knows
better by all means, I
rather learn because every day is a new lesson. So thank you.
Thank you so much.
And as a fellow hypnotherapist, I thank you for the work that you do.
And by all means, share, expand, and
may you blossom no matter where you are.
I work with mothers, daughters, communication, even gentlemen who have a
hard time communicating.
This is what relationship is all about.
We find ways to relate in a relationship and
it doesn’t matter if it’s at work or at home.
So that’s the talk for today.
He’ll talk Tuesday was all about communication
and finding ways to become better the way
we come across and being authentic is what you believe yourself to be.
Thank you.
Thank you, Anyudhan.
How are you doing?
By the way, thank you for always being one of the supports and showing up.
So all of you, I thank you and I look forward to seeing you next week.
All is there is a topic that you would like me to share and bring for you by all means.
Let me know.
Until next week, God bless you and may the universal light surround you always.
Bye bye.