Lynette LaRoche – Real Talk with Liza

Welcome to Heal Talk Tuesdays with Liza.
Where transformation begins as we evoke, embrace and evolve.
[Laughing]
That’s fine, I have time.
Okay!
Greetings, greetings, greetings, and welcome to Heal Talk Tuesdays with Liza.
This is so amazing today, I guess.
Well, it is the 13th of the month and anything is
possible on the 13th and today, it’s not Heal Talk.
In a way it is, it’s going to be healing, it’s going to be transformative,
but today is real talk Tuesdays with Liza and my guest is the net of La Roche.
Allow me to introduce you to Lynette.
Hi Lynette. Hi, Liza.
Thank you for having me.
Actually, I thank you.
I’d like to take a moment and introduce you with a
small little bio and then I’ll put your full bio in the short presentation.
Lynette is a life architect and founder of the midlife redesigned collaborative, which
is MRC, which is under the umbrella of this woman’s house.
It is her mission to empower women to recreate
beautiful lives after a major life transition.
So Lynette is a life coach, a health coach,
hypnotherapist, speaker for time, best-selling
author, and I want to welcome Lynette.
It’s so good to have you and thank you for saying yes.
Absolutely.
I know we talked about in the past of who
you are, where you come from, you’re serving
an empowering women that is almost exactly what I
do and my mission is to empower all individuals,
specifically women and girls, for them to
stand up for who they are, for them to show up
just as they are and speak for the things that they believe in.
And your mission is so much in congruent
with what it is that I share in life.
So, welcome to the stage Lynette.
So, let’s start by saying I’ve checked your
Instagram with no one each other for a few years.
You come from the corporate world and
you exemplify what it is to not only look
good, but to step up for who you are.
I think that is your mission for women.
And you come from the corporate world.
So would you please give us a small little story
of synopsis of where you come from and where you are today?
Well, great. Thank you, Liza.
Yes, I spent over 25 years in the biotech biopharma
industry and had quite a bit of a successful career,
leaving corporate with two drug approvals under my belt.
And the only thanks I got was can you do it again?
And then I have a legacy of building peak performing
teams where if you’re an inspirational leader,
your employees, your staff, they are more than willing to raise their
standard of performance when they feel that you really embody what they expect
and a leader and that you are so very intuitive with their development
and their needs and ensuring that they have opportunity as well.
And so, but I just got to the point where I
just felt like I was, you know, ticking boxes.
I was living underneath this cuspot where
everyone else thought, oh, you’re so successful.
Oh, you have the things.
And, but I wasn’t feeling fulfilled.
Yeah, I loved helping my team.
I love helping them excel.
But my career had gotten stagnant.
I wasn’t going anywhere.
But at the same time, I felt like I had come in.
What do you mean you were going anywhere?
Don’t women, most of us who start in a business or in the
corporate world want to achieve that level of success.
Is it that going somewhere?
Yeah, well, I understand that question.
But when I meant I wasn’t going anywhere, it was like,
I was hitting, excelling, exceeding expectations.
But I was not getting the acknowledgement or promotions associated with it.
Because, yeah, you wanted to keep, you know, also climbing that ladder at work.
And there were like more layers of being put in between me
and what was supposed to be that next step, that next step.
So then I ended up being pushed for them further down.
So yeah, I’m successful in terms of, you know, leading teams.
Because I mean, for an example, I had been a remote worker long before the pandemic.
And I never used a video, but I built some of the closest team members.
Because my thing is, you have to know a bit about each other’s project
so that if people have to take holiday, you could cover for them.
But I built these amazing teams without ever using a video.
But it’s about having these interactions with teams.
And let’s say it, they want to make me proud.
But I want them to be proud of themselves.
But again, that’s what I said about being an inspirational leader.
So, and I fought for my team.
I fought for their raises, their bonuses, their opportunities so that
they get more experienced so that they can get to the next level.
But I didn’t have anyone doing that same thing for me.
And I just felt like my career wasn’t going anywhere.
And yeah, you can bounce around to company to company.
That’s not actually looked upon so badly as it used to
be in the past, you know, going from company to company.
But again, I just felt like I’ve just gotten to the end of the road.
That there had to be something better for me out there.
And so then going through my own life challenges.
And then that brought me to this special place where
I’m the life architect for midlife women, 45 to 60.
And my mission is to just, you know,
strip down this veil that we have lived
behind, you know, where we have sacrificed
our own needs for the sake of others.
And I’m here with expectations that are placed upon us.
Some of them are placed upon us and, and well,
what we have allowed to be placed upon us.
There’s we take it upon ourselves.
Yes. Yes, I mean, because, yeah, you know, and you may relate
to this in terms of, you know, there’s that endocrine
indoctrination from a child, you know, so I grew up in
a very, very ultra, uber, ultra religious environment.
So the way that I dressed, the way that I act came from there.
Because there were like a lot of rules that we had to follow.
And then I also grew up in the 60s.
So there were the rules of girls you didn’t do this.
Whereas my brothers, they could do anything they wanted, but girls, you can’t do this.
And so I grew up, you know, always being cognizant of my behavior.
You know, always still making sure I fit into that box.
Good girl. Yeah.
That’s a good girl.
I don’t like good or bad proper.
Yeah, exactly. There you go.
And we used to use that term.
I don’t think people use that term anymore.
Oh, the proper. I know.
We used to be a term that we would give to
people who had a certain type of presence.
We would say, oh my god, they’re so proper.
Yep. And, but that means they’ve checked all the boxes.
Yeah, they’re following the rules.
Yeah, they’re not coloring outside the lines or anything.
But as men, women, and again, those of us who
are later on in that range of the 45 to 60s,
we’ve just spent so much of our time putting
the knees of others ahead of our own.
And then we get to this fork in the road where we don’t really know ourselves.
Or even if we had that good career, it still may not
have been what we really envisaged for ourselves.
And so now we’re like, oh, it’s too late for me to do what I want to do now.
And as I was saying, my favorite quote by George Elliott
was, it’s never too late to be who you might have been.
And this can be the most brilliant
and vibrant and joyful time of our lives.
We do not have to live less than when we get to this nature in our lives.
And the fear that a lot of men, like women feel when they get
to this age is because they’re like, oh, my looks have gone.
The body may not be what it was.
Like, and then they start feeling invisible to society.
And I’m here, Ross.
Yes, I don’t know who I am anymore.
Yes, exactly.
And so, and then last one is like, no, I want to let them let this happen to them.
Yes, I feel like the spotlight is now on us.
We get to define what the spotlight will highlight to the rest of the world.
And so,
the next thing that nowadays with all this awareness, what
we call self development, self realization, self empowerment.
I mean, this thing about women’s empowerment
has become the in thing for the last 10 years.
I’ve done women’s empowerment.
We even, to a point that we are now getting to
the point even the book lean in and boss up.
Those are all words that encourage women to become
better, to open up, to speak and to show up.
And yet, there’s still that internal, I don’t want to be selfish.
I don’t want to be told that I’m putting myself first.
And yet, with all this available, are we stepping up more?
There is more people going to events of self development
events and doing things for like retreats, for women’s retreat.
Where 20 years ago, that was not heard of.
Well, I mean, it’s true that there is so much
available in terms of resources for all of us.
But let me just put something in perspective.
In a study by the National Institutes of Health in 2017, at that
time, women over 50 comprise over 17.2% of the total population.
That’s almost 1.4 billion women who are over 50.
But yet, so many of us are still, even with all of these resources, we
still have this fear of stepping into our own, putting our own needs first.
And so, you don’t want, it’s that fear of judgment too.
And so, that is one of those things that, yeah, you have to work through that.
And sometimes, you just need someone that’s going
to hold your hand and help you through that.
Because it is scary.
To now, after all of this time, whether you raised a family, you’ve had a
spouse, you had this illustrious career, whatever, to now put yourself first.
Who is she the big thing and she can put herself first?
Who is she to feel that now she can live life, you know, out
loud and not worry about like what the world is going to say?
And it comes back to ageism too, because, oh, am I too old to dress that way?
Oh, am I too old to be going out with the girls all the time?
Am I too old to, you know, have this outlook on life?
No, and no, and no.
You get to define it all. You get to defy it.
And that’s the thing, I just want this movement
of mid-life women who are defying stereotypes.
Because stereotype, aging is not a look.
It’s not like an athletic performance.
It’s not, it’s all of these things that are sort of attributed to youth.
I mean, because a youthful mindset has nothing to do with age.
And I understand that.
So, knowing you, I know how competitive you are with yourself.
Oh, yeah.
We don’t even have to go with saying you’re
competitive in a corporate world or anything like that.
But having that perfect body, the perfect image, the perfect,
and I’m not saying perfect for anyone else, but for yourself.
Because I think weight and looks and
everything one for us to do it for themselves.
So when we look in the mirror, we say, “I like
me.” We don’t have to get to the love part.
We can just say, “I like me. I like the way I look.”.
So, how did you overcome your own adversity
not to be perfect, but to be good enough today.
And I like me because you show it on, you show how to dress, how to look,
how to take photos, how to be the person in the front of the camera.
And not everyone is ready to be on the front camera because they think if I
don’t have the Botox, if I don’t have this, if I don’t have the right body.
So, how can you share that part?
Well, it’s also about building that confidence
because, yeah, I mean, I was a fanatic in the gym.
In nutrition, I weighed every single thing. I ate all the things I was
pummeling myself and I was just like, “Your body has to look this way.”.
And then it didn’t happen the way that I wanted it to look.
And then when I relax all of these standards,
in my body found its way to, “Oh, look at that!”
I see muscle separation. Like, “Oh, well,
what did that happen when I was so serious?”.
It’s because when you’re trying to achieve something
that’s outside of you, you’ll never get there.
So, you have to find that self-acceptance. And I guess that’s what it was.
I accept it like, “Okay, you know, yeah, you know,
you have like the loose skin, you have like…”
“Yeah, I call him my swing set. You have like,
“Oh, you know, the teeth that’s shifting.”
There is no perfection. The perfection is the beauty that you see in yourself.
That’s where the perfection is. Is the beauty
that you see that you accept about yourself.
And that’s where it all comes from.
Okay, so, do you have your own daily or weekly virtual?
Well, for me, I start the day with, I listen to handpan music.
And, you know, I have my diffuser going on and I just sort
of sit in meditation in the morning before I do anything.
Because it’s just really connected.
We wake up at five o’clock in the morning to do this.
Sometimes, but most of the time, it’s around six thirty.
Okay, good.
But yeah, but there were times that I did. I
used to work. I used to wake up at four thirty
because, because in corporate, I’m on the left coast.
And I think we had worked for was in central.
But then you also have people in Europe. So, I had team
members in Europe. So, I need to be on online by six.
So, yeah, I would get up every day at four thirty. I would
have like my morning meditation, my mobility in the morning.
And then you deal with the dogs. And then,
you know, because I do intermittent fasting.
And I don’t really eat any ways in the
morning. So, I don’t have to worry about food.
But, but my workout ritual is actually at the end of my day.
My workout is what shuts my mind down.
Because I’m always thinking, next, next, next, next, next.
And it just totally just cuts it off.
And then, I don’t think about it.
I wake up the next morning thinking about all the things that I need to do.
Which is why I need the meditation to like, “I stopped, stop that mind!”
Who stopped that mind, so?
I mean, we know that the last thing that we place in our subconscious mind, right
before we go to sleep, is exactly what our mind and body does the processing.
So, that’s one of the things I share with my clients.
And we’re doing the same thing here with the audience.
If you were to give the tips that I give is when I
give my audio recordings for them to relax and unwind.
And I usually say, “Right, five things that you were grateful for just for today.”.
It doesn’t matter. No judgment. If it went
good or bad, just what you were grateful for.
And it could be just like, “I got up and I drove to work and I did this.”
Just the five things. And just being in the
gratefulness and being mindful of that you were able to.
That’s it.
So, what are the things that you can share with
our audience, especially women between the 40s
and 60s that are going through the nonstop of, I
have to achieve, I have to achieve in order for
me to have that we come back to being a woman, being human.
Yes. And so, what I like and what I do for myself as well, but one of
the things that I recommend is, is just what are these little seven?
What you may think are small things that happen
throughout your day. That makes you feel good.
And whatever is about yourself or just gave you like your mind,
like a refresh or whatever, but what are these seven little things?
Because a lot of times, we’re so focused on those
big picture things that we don’t see all the little
beautiful things that we’ve done, that things that
make us happy or maybe it made someone else happy.
What are these seven things that you might feel
that were just small, that didn’t mean anything?
But when you look at them, they either make you smile or make your heart
feel full or whatever, but just sit down and just think about those seven.
They can write it down if they want to. But it’s
about giving yourself grace and appreciation.
Because again, we’re just ticking, ticking, ticking and not appreciating.
And so, and that’s what I like to do, is because sometimes you
feel like I didn’t do anything today. I didn’t get anything done.
And you really have.
Actually, one of the smallest little appreciation I can share this
morning, I went to the bank as I was walking out this gentleman.
He was like way ahead and he rushed and opened the door for me. And
as I walked through, I looked at him and I said, “Well, thank you.”
And he says, “Well, you’re welcome.” And that
itself is just an adjuster of appreciation,
not only of what he did for me, but for me to even thank you for bringing the door.
I think smaller gestures like that, especially as women,
when there is that sheery, where there is that grace.
And the word proper.
The proper etiquette, you know. And I love feelings like this
beautiful woman walking through and for someone to open the door.
Sometimes, as I’m walking out,
I hold the door for someone else
and it doesn’t matter if it’s
a man or a woman. It’s just a
“You have to be. You can let these people in front
of you. You’re all going to get to your destination.”
Yeah.
I’m like, why? You know, because growing up in Chicago,
it’s like it’s such an aggressive driving behavior.
And it just stuck with me. Because if you put
your signal on, no one’s going to let you win.
And you’re trying to even if you’re trying to
walk, you know, they don’t even let you, you,
you cross this, they’re still like going into
the crosswalk while you’re trying to go walk.
And so, and I was like, “Why not?”.
This is a behavior that you have to change. You have
to like, you know, not be so aggressive on the road.
Like, yeah, we know you have a meat for speed.
Just, you’ll need, just calm down. And then it was just like,
“I didn’t even really think about it.” It’s like, yeah, you know, so
I’m just driving. You’re not just like, okay, but that’s, oh, down.
Let your feet up a little bit. And, you know, because everyone’s
still trying to get what I need to go, help them get there.
And that’s what I just said, help them get to where they’re going.
That’s amazing because one of
the things that I have done is smile.
They cut me through or something if you notice when
you just, not for smile, but it’s like, it’s okay.
When you smile, it, it creates this rippling effect.
They made them smile back, but somehow they made
smile for something else. And it’s this boomerang.
When you think about your life growing
up, I know it was, I grew up in a very,
my God, there was a time that I used to say my life
was very much brushed up or everything was rules.
But the past time and the worst time when you, where you are right now,
what experience in your life has set you on a different path that,
than in the past and yet now
that you look back, you appreciate.
Well, again, just like you, I grew up in a very strict house.
Not only was it the Bible, but my parents were just naturally strict.
And then, you know, girls again, we weren’t allowed
to do like all the things that my brothers could.
And they were outnumber of seven girls to two boys.
Wow. Yeah, number seven of nine.
And no wonder you like seven.
And, and so, but for
you, it was learning
to define what greatness
or success meant.
Because I was one of those, I loved school.
I loved school.
And back then, it was, you know, all the
kids, they just wanted to get the top grades.
You know, you wanted to see your score at the end of every school year.
And so, and I will always bring home these great grades.
But again, you know, growing up in the working class family who didn’t,
you know, pursue, pursue like higher education outside of high school.
It was like, you know, I never really felt that I was
successful because I never got like those accolades.
Like, oh my God, I know you did so wonderful.
So I always had trouble seeing when I did
something really great or what was success.
And so, and, and then one of the things that I learned actually was probably
within the last five years was make having my own definition of success for myself.
Something where I can say, Lynette, you did a girl.
And exactly.
And, and that really relaxed to me because no matter how great I did things,
I will always see like the three things that I could have did better.
And not the 97 things that were almost perfect.
You know, and I was always focused on the role.
Because I didn’t have the measuring stick.
So I had to make my own.
And then, the way the measuring stick now, I mean, because
for every single person successes something different.
Someone’s like, the house, the blinks, the travels, the head mess, purse.
You know, everybody says, everybody has a measuring.
For someone, it’s a happy home, happy family.
And they are very to to them that home with the garden.
And having this beautiful flourishing
blossoming garden is like, I’m happy.
So for me, success means
that at the end of each day,
am I confident that I did my best?
And, and you would just be amazed at, because it involves so many other things.
And involves appreciating yourself.
And involves giving yourself grace. And involves honoring yourself.
Because, you know, again, so much.
We’re just out here.
Just turning out like all of these things.
And, and which is why I say like those little
things that you don’t even think about.
That’s making you feel good.
Because you’re so caught up thinking and only looking at these big things.
And it’s kind of hard to make you for you to feel good about yourself.
Because you’re like, oh, I only chipped off a piece of that project.
Oh, I didn’t finish my website.
And, and that’s what I think.
I get the end of every day.
Do I feel that I did my best?
Because that is what makes me feel really good.
Like, I didn’t like screw up everything.
That was good enough.
And that’s one of the things good enough is good enough.
Well, I mean, actually, I don’t even even like that term.
I think it’s pretty enough. I get, it depends.
So if you, if you have totally no self worth,
then getting to the point of good enough, I accept that.
But you want to be excellent enough.
You want to be exceptional enough.
And your own definition of it.
Because good enough still seems like you’re lacking.
And it still sort of feel like there is some lack that.
Oh, you didn’t even try to go up here.
You just like, okay, that’s good enough.
Like, yeah, like I just wrote this, just this article.
Yeah, I couldn’t have ran it through like grumbarly, but that’s good enough.
So, no.
And so, but again, it’s all, I think
it all comes back to when you are.
And that’s the thing is we need to stop putting definitions and on everything.
So if we come back to, do you feel that you’re doing your best?
Then you know that you’re everything.
Okay.
You’re everything.
So, my dear audience, you are everything.
Yes.
So, I look yourself in the mirror.
And you just smile.
And I love your smile.
Look at that bright smile.
Oh, my God. I feel like I have like that little clip.
These would sort of crooked smile.
I like it.
Well, I have this smile little.
It’s not, I had this growth growing up and it used to be huge.
It was blue and they took me to germinate to decolourize it and it left the scar.
So, eventually it, it went away, but I still have that scar. And you know what?
For the longest time when I was growing up, I felt like everyone is staring at me.
The way my mouth is crooked and it’s just like, you know what?
Get over it. This is it.
This is how I was born. This is the best.
You know? And I’m one of the central.
I am.
No one is symmetrical.
I mean like one of my ears is a little higher than the other.
Whatever. So, my glasses are being lopsided.
So, whatever. I’m everything.
You know, this is why I love this conversation.
And this is just too small appreciating this moment.
And I truly appreciate this moment because we
were on a call, on our group call about what?
Ten days ago, a week ago and something just
triggers and I said, “But I do want to be my gaseous.”
She’s like, “When?” I said, “Cheers, they.”
She’s like, “Let me try.”
Okay?
And that is, this is what good energy is. This is what friendship is.
This is what sharing to not only of who we are
and we’ve talked about so many things are good
and the bad and the struggles we’ve had in the last two years.
And thanks to the group that we belong to and
the women in that group that will challenge each other.
We support one another.
And I think this is your mission and my mission.
And I thank you for this because this is what I look for.
Others who are here to support and encourage empower and help each other.
Exactly.
Right? Yes.
And so you’ve been so powerful in that space.
So, you know, we just need more.
And as we listen to the person who encouraged
you, who is the woman either and I was going to say think fictional or not.
But someone you looked up to who mentored you
or became the person that you said, “I want examples of that.”
And that’s the great idea.
I think it actually came from out of community.
You know, again, finding a community of women
and there wasn’t one specific woman, but
I snatched a piece of each one of these
women and I was like, “Thank you. Thank you.”
And I brought it to myself because again,
you know, it’s about being your best.
And sometimes someone that you meet has that piece that is, you know, here it is.
It went right there.
Oh, here, right there on the shoulder blades.
And yeah, I just feel that I’ve just been
really blessed because I’ve met some like you,
some remarkable women that have just really
given me a way to continue to shore up myself
so that I’m able to be this voice, this
architect for the women that I work with.
And again, it’s just this amazing community of women who have been able to give me some
of their power, whether they knew it or not,
that to help me to bring it all together.
Did you watch the Olympics?
I was so ecstatic. I was glued
to the Olympics after work on
weekends and the
practice, the effort that goes
into getting to that level of expertise and
then just realizing because Nadal was talking
about this and he said, realizing that even
though it looks flawless on the court, it took
years of losing two years of mental aptitude
to realize the other opponent is feeling unsure
and yet as tenacity and going to get because
they want that one serve and to get to
that level of knowing at any level that we
install and to be the best, we must find that
humbleness to know
another person can beat me at any moment and it’s just a game, it’s not who I am.
Exactly, I love that and that is so true
which I feel is applicable again to mid-life
women is because all of your years and decades
of experience that brought you here to now,
it has an expired, now you get to use that
to propel you forward and the best life that
you could ever imagine and there’s nothing
anyone out there that can take away from you.
So all of this work, all of this practice that they have put in, created this life,
they can do it again and make it exceptional.
That’s beautiful.
I know your time is very valuable and you are in
San Francisco, you’re going to be transitioning
somewhere else but you’re always available online and reach full.
So would you please share with our audience where they can find you?
Well, they can definitely reach me on IG Instagram @lamathlerosh.
LYNNETTELAROCHE
and it’s important that there’s
two ends in one that or you will have any help.
And you know, they can reach out and so whether they comment on your posts and they
reach me that way, I’m more than happy to meet you.
Definitely, I’m going to be sharing all your information and link in everything.
All right, fantastic.
Thank you so much, Liza. Thank you.
And I look forward to our next meet in person
and hopefully one day we might even share a stage together right here.
Yes, that’ll be perfect.
Okay, thank you so much for being here. Thank you.
So, thank you for taking your time and I hope this was beneficial to you.
It gave you one glimpse, one message,
one idea of how to know that you matter.
Yes, no matter where you are in life. Yes.
With that, God bless you all and may do universal light, a surround you always.
Goodbye. Bye.
And if you like this, share it, subscribe and
go to YouTube and you’ll see the rest of all my podcasts.
Thank you. Bye.
Bye. Bye.
Bye. Bye.
Bye. Bye.
Bye.