Stories of our Parents

Greetings Greetings Greetings and welcome to Heal Talk Tuesday.
This is Liza.
It’s so good to be here with you, isn’t it?
I thought I missed the point of taking a sip of water, my favorite glass.
Oh, how cute!
It also matches my necklace and my background.
I hope you are doing absolutely wonderful.
We are mid-March marching forward in life.
So today I’m going to be talking about something that, let me correct the volume.
I’m going to be talking about something that so many of us go through.
We’re going to talk about something I want to share with you that even yesterday I had
a client that we went through this.
So did you know that today is forgive Mom and Dad Day?
And how appropriate to what is it that I want to talk to you about?
Well, what I want to talk to you about is something we all carry.
Something that many of us don’t even realize that
we are holding on to, not only from our past,
but also what we are holding on to from our parents.
And it can be their trauma, their story, or you’re holding on to a story that happened
long time ago, which is truly part of the
history and yet you are repeating that story over and over.
And I’m saying this because I know I was
doing the same thing many, many years ago.
I can say about 20 years ago.
I remember blaming my father for not allowing
me to go and be the police officer that I wanted to be.
And I would always tell him, you didn’t let me.
You treated me like a precious thing and although I am much stronger than that.
So I would just stand and face him and say, you did not allow me.
So that was right then.
But I grew out of it.
I went to college.
I went to university.
I did so many other things.
But that lingering thing was still there.
It was still lingering in the back of my mind.
And of course I let it go because for the last
25 years I’ve been practicing as a clinical
hypnotherapist stress management consultant
and helping people I like to call it in a more loving feminine way for me.
And I’m not saying for anybody else, but my way.
Because of that, I let go of that blame factor.
As a matter of fact, I’ve done so many things that was protecting, serving.
I’ve served in many capacities in the community.
I have protected so many people in many different ways.
So in fact, I have done what I wanted to do.
I just didn’t know the format of it.
So in a way, he was protecting me from what he believed was a harsh environment.
Today, I can say I have been helping so many
of my clients and if you resonate with this
message by all means, I would love for you to share with me what you think, what you
believe because just yesterday I had a client
who was going through the same thing came
here for anxiety, came here for weight issues.
And as we are evoking, as we are peeling away,
those or blame of thinking, this mom said that’s mom did that.
That said this, that didn’t protect me, mom did this.
And then realizing how much of those burdens,
blames guilt strips you are holding onto.
So let’s reflect on how much we consciously
or even unconsciously, let the actions or the
actions of our parents shape your present reality, our present reality, all of us.
We all are prepping to the same thing and yet
in a different modality, perhaps at different
times of our lives, in a different format.
So for many who come to me, or often there
is this common thread of lingering connection
to childhood and to what the parents did or did not, right?
And we can’t say we can blame parents for
everything because there are habits and behaviors
that we come to resolve, let go of, and that
started in college years, in university years, after marriage.
And then as we peel away, we recognize
who the thread goes further back in. Okay.
So I want to offer you a moment of healing, your own moment of healing.
And what if you could forgive yourself, if you
could just sit back, even do this practice, take a sheet of paper, right?
And write all the things about yourself that you believe where you are.
The cause is because of long time ago, because
of your childhood upbringing, because of your
childhood environment, because of your family,
their expectations, their rules, their regulations,
and what you wanted to do and you could not do.
So those are all called your thoughts, your ideas, your belief system.
Which in turn, I’m going to say something at
the end that we’re going to share and come
to a little bit of the healing and resolution.
Would that be okay with you? Yeah?
If it’s a yes, just say yes or just give me a number one.
Number one for yes.
Okay. All right. Perfect. Thank you.
Now let’s go through this.
I want you to take a moment of this healing and what if you could forgive yourself for
caring and holding on to all that you write in here.
After you are done, you sit back and you say, hmm, I didn’t realize I had all these
thoughts.
I didn’t realize until now I’ve been holding on to this anger.
Perhaps resentment, perhaps a guilt trip that
either you took on or it was placed on you.
It is your fault that this happened.
It is you that did something or not
or vice versa. Mom’s fault, that’s fault.
Mom loved my brother more than I had more than she did me.
My dad was not there for me.
My mom was absent.
My dad was not there when I needed him, right?
So when you write all that, it’s no judgment.
There is no judgment at all.
My intention, I want you to know that you
are not here to analyze, criticize, or judge.
Just to write, vent it out.
And once you do that, realize what if you
choose to let go of that burden and the weight
that has been placed on your heart and on your mind?
Because without recognizing it’s an energetic weight, it’s an energetic burden.
It’s a heaviness.
It’s a heaviness that you have not realized it, but
you’ve been carrying it, either psychologically,
mentally, emotionally, energetically.
Okay? You’ve hold on to it.
So the next thing is recognizing, of course,
everything that I do is part of The 3E Boubari method
Right?
So we’re going to evoke the emotions tied to those past experiences.
Okay?
By doing so, when you sit back, I want you to embrace who you are today.
No judgment, no analyzing, just who are you today?
Where are you today?
Because I want you to recognize after all
the blames and recognizing how your past has
shaped your present, you let go of the guilt
trip and the true healing starts by embracing who you are today.
Because everything has shaped you to be where you are.
You know this bracelet of mine?
My 3E bracelet says, evoke embrace evolve.
And behind it, it says, I matter.
And I’ve said this many times.
It is your life’s woven experiences.
This is all the experiences in your life
that has brought you to where you are today.
To remind you, they can be as thin and as precious, as harsh and hard.
But they have woven and shaped you to be where you are today.
And that’s why you are so strong like a metal, strong like this.
This is your cycle of life.
And with your imperfections, it reminds you from your masculine side, your feminine
side, and this is not only your mind, but also your core, your intuition.
Okay?
And always tap into your gut feeling, your intuition.
So it’s not about excusing what happened at all.
I’m not saying you’re going to turn around and say, but I don’t want to pardon them.
It’s not about pardoning at all.
It’s not coming up with an excuse why were they so harsh?
Why were they that?
Because they too have their own story of
why they were who they are or who they were.
But choosing to release its control over your life.
That’s it.
Because if you want to manage your life, your
body, your psyche, your thought process, where
you want to be right now and where you want to go, you
have to let go of that energetic blame, shame, and guilt.
So because the only person who can do that is
you, you have the power to decide today, just for today.
Okay? This exercise is for just today.
You don’t have to do this every day.
If you do it, it’s good for you.
It’s a great journaling.
But I believe once you let it go and let it
go down the drain, it’s gone down the drain.
You’re not going to bring it back and take your shower with that.
No, no water, no cleansing.
You are not defined by what was and what defined you in the past.
So that is your strength.
That in itself is your decision.
You know, there is this Hawaiian prayer.
It’s called whole pono pono, which helps you understand and heal the experiences in
your life that you have attracted or participated in or have been affected by.
And that is the way we’re going to do that exercise.
And I’m going to walk you through that exercise.
And if you agree, I’m going to do a hypnosis,
small gesture of guided visualization.
Would that be okay? Just say yes.
I’m going to do a small number of mind.
So today I’m also going to do a small gesture of guided visualization.
Here’s the thing.
I know for a fact that so many of you, if you are not present live right here right
now, you watch this episode at a later time.
And I thank you for that because I hear it.
You share it.
You say it.
My own means reminds me, please go to my
YouTube channel, Liza Boubari YouTube channel.
Subscribe to my channel because it’s the only
way I can bring you the heal with Envatliza and my radio real talk with Liza experts
that help you and guide you and empower you, inspiring you.
And my intention is to impact your life with
healthier ways and empowering you in a better healthier being. Okay?
So for you and your family, now let’s go to the next level.
What I’m intending to do is for you to realize
we’re going to do that healing and guided visualization.
Because in common with other shamanic traditions,
this Hawaiian tradition teaches that life is connected.
We are all one.
You see, every religion has their own way of prayer.
And it can be last week.
It was holy weekend for India.
And next weekend is no rules for Muslims and Iranians.
And we have the Jewish holiday.
And then we have Ramadan.
And then we have our history coming up.
And we got Christmas.
Why?
From Buddhist to Christianity… from God’s community to Judaism… Judaism?
It doesn’t matter.
We’re all people, and we’re all praying to the higher self,
and that is why I believe the higher self we are connected, and we always pray up.
But who is Pray up?
Right?
Because the person who really wants the prayer and listens is the one we sing you.
Hmm. That’s what prayer is all about.
So, this connection that we have I encourage you
if you can, just for a few moments, sit back.
Take a nice deep breath.
And let go of what no longer matters.
Literally, just let go of what no longer matters.
Nothing.
And as you breathe in, hold one, two, three, four, and exhale.
One more time.
Let go of what no longer serves you.
And as you breathe in, you bring in oxygen, vitality, kindness.
And let go for giving yourself for holding on to the past,
and embrace your growth, peace, and clarity for who you are today.
And truly embracing who you are today.
That’s what we do with children,
especially babies.
You place them upon your heart and you go, hmm.
Because that humming sound is one of the most relaxing thing that there is.
So, if you’re ready to move forward with intention,
clarity and peace, I invite you to reach out.
And whether it’s for one-on-one sessions with me or group session,
I offer a 15-minute complimentary consultation.
So, I urge you to continue working through this to peel away to let go.
So, take a nice deep breath.
Sit back.
And let’s go through this entire thing.
Right?
Okay.
All right.
Nice deep breath.
Easily gently.
You can close your eyes at any time you want.
And just allow yourself to become one with all your surroundings.
Become aware of all the sounds that surround you.
Even the sound of the beating of your own heart.
And would your eyes closed?
Just let go.
And go back in time to add time in your life where you felt hurt
by something someone said, someone did or hurt by someone,
perhaps one of your parents, perhaps what they did or did not do for you.
To be an action, a choice, a word, perhaps they even stayed silent.
And as a young child, place you in a place of confusion.
And as you remember, we remember, just notice it with no judgment,
no fear, no criticizing, and just let it come to your awareness and consciousness.
And as you remember it, realize that you can do something about it today.
And as you breathe in and out for just a moment,
I want you to become aware of all that you are physically,
having this beautiful body, strong body of yours that
protects you and shields who you are inside this body.
Your heart that not only pumps oxygenated blood, but also feels for you.
And a sound mind that you have capable, able, clear and focused than ever before.
And say thank you to all parts of you, especially the intuitive part of you,
knowing that you are strong and you can stand up.
Now imagine standing at the edge of this beautiful, peaceful,
serene bed of water can be upon, can be a river Lane, can be a lake,
and the water is calm, reflecting the beauty of the sky.
And right in front of you, there are pebbles, small little stones.
And all these stones represent the burdens, the heaviness.
Each one can be a habit, a behavior, an action, a reaction, did, did not.
Stories you’ve carried from your childhood.
And whether it’s from your parents or anyone else,
family members, other kids from school, teachers, neighbors.
Right?
So by doing so, by being present, I want you
to imagine picking up one stone at a time.
Just pick up one stone at a time and doing this in your mind’s
eye and feel the weight in the palm of your hand.
You can even name each stone.
This is your imagination.
Feel the weight and acknowledge the presence in the palm of your hand,
and you can even do it like this and touch it.
Right?
But notice you are not defined by this stone.
It’s only part of the entire being.
It’s part of there is part of your past and you are standing up.
And this is below and you are picking it up temporarily for today.
You have the power to release it.
And today it’s going to be your choice.
Which ones are you ready to throw into the water?
And which ones you leave right there as a bedrock so you can walk over them.
You have choices.
You have three choices.
Release it for good into the water and let it go.
You have a choice to recognize all of them
and walk over them to where you want to go.
And there may be one or two of those stones
that you still may want to linger on and hold
on to to be a reminder of who you have become.
And yet it has no power over you because it’s
in the palm of your hand and you can control it.
You can open it, release it, or hold on to it.
But this time you’re doing it knowingly.
Like sense?
Good.
Now.
By knowing this.
By doing so, we’re going to count one, two, and begin or walk.
Throw it.
Release it.
Release the flames, the guilt, the expectations, the
resentments, release all the things the parents did or did not, said or did not.
Let it go.
By releasing it, you also release them from the burdens that has been
lingered and attached energetically to them.
So release it.
And as you release it with each ripple of the
water that you see, you recognize that you
let go of any and all of the emotions that no longer serve you.
Everything that has been weighing upon you.
Take a nice deep breath.
Exhale.
And then you can even go close to the water and
play with a water or put your feet, take your
shoes off, go to the edge of the water, put
your toes in there, wiggle your toes, right?
And just splash the water or throw the rest of the rocks.
It’s no longer holding onto you.
You’re no longer to hold onto it.
Take another nice deep breath.
Soaking in this calmness, this Serenity,
lifting the weight, lifting all the tension,
lifting all the resentment, lifting off and releasing all of that.
Realizing that by evoking the emotions tied
to those past experiences, you are embracing who you are today.
Write this very moment.
It’s where your true healing is starting right here right now.
Every breath that you take, every time that you breathe in, breathe out and you swallow
your saliva, you are saying yes to you, yes to you for who you are.
Okay? None of this will have a hold over you any longer.
You have the power to decide just for today and every day from
this day forward, a new beginning where you want to evolve to.
So I encourage you to take a nice deep breath and let go of no longer serves you.
And by doing this, you lift off.
You let go and you release because today is the day of forgiving your mom and dad, but
more importantly, it’s forgiving yourself for holding on to all that.
That heaviness, right?
So either you imagine that water and release
it or when you take a shower today, cleanse.
It, wash it and let it go.
Please share with me.
I love to hear from you.
Either DM me, message me, message right here.
How this exercise was for you.
And for those of you who write to me and
you say thank you, I thank you for being and showing up.
So if you are ready to move forward, there
are so many deeper things that we hold on to
that happens in the behaviors that you’re
still holding on lingering, creating anxiety
and discomfort inside.
You feel I block by all means.
Let me know.
Let’s connect schedule a pre consultation and I am here to help you.
So let’s continue this by joining the healing within community.
Liza Boubari, your expert clinical hypnotherapist, I’m here for you.
And until next week, God bless you and may the universal light surround you always.
Bye bye.
Thank you.