Embracing Life’s Unexpected Waves

Greetings, greetings, greetings, greetings, and welcome to Heal Talk Tuesday.
This is Liza.
It’s so good to be here with you, isn’t it?
I am so delighted to be here with you.
Because today we’re going to have a talk.
It’s going to be informative, invigorating, inspiring.
So I titled it, “How do you respond to the unexpected?”
I got a few days ago, it says, “Hi, Liza Jan,
do you have any talks regarding how to deal with potential loss of a family member?
My mom has been in the hospital for the last
week, and today they’re going to move her to a nursing home.
Even though she’s quite old and has lived a
long life and longer than most people, it still
hurts.”
And I responded and I said, “You know what?
I will make today’s talk specifically for you
because my dearest, each and every one of us
goes through this, especially us sandwich folks who are parents.
We’re picking up our parents.
We have children.
I don’t, but those of you who do and grandchildren.”
So how do we respond to the unexpected?
Life happens.
This is part of life and whether it’s an illness,
a loss, accident, even something as simple
as an unexpected wave soaking you to the bone.
This is exactly what happened to me this
weekend at a gathering that we went to a all-day event.
If you were with us, what an amazing day.
Thank you so much, Mary.
But standing at the ocean in front of the
ocean on the sand, I wanted to take picture.
So I went as close as to the water.
I was right there.
And the wave was the calmest wave, right?
I turned around and one wave came and hit me at the butt.
It’s just like, “Whoof!”
All the way splashed my pants and underpants and everything from my back.
It was, “What is can be?”
What do I do at that very moment?
I laughed.
It was the funniest thing.
It was humor.
It was unexpected.
It was my outburst that came out as laughter
and everyone is looking at me to see how I respond.
Now I could have been pissed.
I could have been angry because I didn’t have extra clothes with me.
So it was cold at the beach.
It was cold.
So it’s how we respond to life and how you respond to life.
So in moments like this, what do we do?
What do you do?
Your response shapes who you are and it also shapes your life.
It shapes your experiences and the energy not
only within yourself, but everyone that surrounds.
You, not only your mom, your children, your family members.
So there is always a cause and effect, right? Everything.
So many people say, “I’m afraid of change and yet change is constant.”
You go from one designated area to another.
You walk from one to another.
The air changes, the breeze changes, the wave changes.
Those are all parts of life.
So it depends how you respond to it that can uplift you or bring you down.
So here’s how I can say coping with some of the unexpected things.
First and foremost, when something like that happens, it’s evoking a response.
It’s evoking something from the inside.
Now, my response to some unexpected things at
times of hardship, at times of panic, I choose
not to go into panic.
I go more into becoming like a caretaker and I respond according to.
Everyone is different.
So first and foremost, breathe because you
must breathe before you can help someone else, right?
So some people hold their breath and they go
into the instead of that is breathe so that
you can relax in order for your brain to get
some of that oxygen so that you can think what to do in case of emergency.
If you panic, you’re going into that whirlwind.
If you pause for a moment, breathe and then
you center yourself in order to deal with the situation.
So it’s a good thing to say to me, “What’s this, what can I learn?”
And how I turned it around was if there was
something that was going to slap me from behind
words, jealousy, envy, anything, or if there
was something that I really needed to wash,
it put it behind me.
It, the wave came and cleansed it.
It already came and washed it away because just
few moments before that in our guided visualization
I was asking them to imagine being in the
shower and the water coming because water is the most cleansing thing that there is.
To calm and cleanse and wash away and all the
things that they no longer want just to wash away and go down the drain.
So literally I took it exactly but that and I was laughing.
It’s like, “I didn’t need to take a shower
at the water from the ocean came and to care of it.”
So find a humor if you can.
Sometimes we can’t find the humor in that moment.
But that’s what comedy is.
Do we find humor through the most tragic things that happen in our life?
I find humor.
I made my mom laugh just a day before Sunday, okay, Saturday.
Now Friday I might work.
Mom had an accident that was, I’m not going
to say what it was, but it was a devastating accident.
She got hurt and everything.
So she called me crying.
My heart sank and I left everything.
I was in a meeting.
I dropped everything and drove home to take care of Mom.
And because of what had happened, I knew.
I knew it’s not something that it’s going to be taken care of by a bandit.
I needed to be taken care of by being tended to by a doctor.
So at that moment when my mom is in panic and of course being her daughter, I cannot
hypnotize her at that moment because she’s still in that motion.
And anyhow, it’s harder to take care of a family member when they’re feeling that.
So what happened, what I did is I calmed
her down just for a moment to put the ice on
top of her hand and it was a very bad wound.
And we sat in the car, before we sit in the car, I’m like, okay, we’re going to go.
I’m taking you to urgent care, right?
And at that moment, mom says, let me get the comb.
I have to comb my hair.
Where’s my lipstick?
You know, this is my mom.
I love her dearly.
She’s Mrs. Class, what I call in time of panic and something like that.
I started laughing and I’m like, are you kidding me?
This is the time that you’re thinking about your hair and a lipstick.
And she started laughing that one moment of
laughter broke the ice from crying to laughing.
So do you understand what happens?
What we call it is shift.
Shift of energy, shift of perception, shift at that very second.
The moment you shift from panic and anxiety and
stress and fear factor to a humor or something
lighter, that change of energy changes energy within yourself. Okay?
So what we did is find a humor and then embrace the flexibility.
Embrace that very moment.
Letting go of the control of, I can’t, I can’t, I’m crying.
It’s like, okay, help has arrived.
I let you help me. Okay?
So for you at any given moment, the first responders when they come is say, you’re
going to be okay, help us on his way or I am here.
I’ll take care of you automatically.
You’re conscious that it’s already in the level of panic.
Once to that goes down to the ball, breathing, they start breathing.
You start breathing. Okay?
And you ground yourself.
Connect with your senses.
While this is happening, I’m telling my mom wiggle
your toes, wiggle your toes, wiggle your toes.
And she’s like, it’s not my toe, I am known.
She’s like, shift the perception, shift the energy.
She’s thinking here, here, here.
But when I shift her into wiggle your toes, I’m taking the shift from her hand to her
toes and making sure everything is responding, everything is intact.
And it’s a shift of perception. Why am I doing?
So it’s called the confusional technique, what we do as a hypnotherapist.
So I’ve been practicing for 24 years.
For me, this comes very easy and I can teach you this.
And for you to understand those are the tips.
We breathe, we pause, we breathe.
And then we reframe the situation.
We find the humor if you can, laughter is the most powerful thing that you can do.
Then you embrace the flexibility.
Whatever is happening at that moment, let go of the control and trust.
The next thing is grounding yourself, right?
So here’s another one, because when you do these steps, guess what happens?
Not only you shift it that perception, you choose a better
response, a better response to that cause and effect.
So my dear, the person who sent me that message.
As we get older, we must expect our elders
and the way we take care of them, they become more fragile, more childlike.
So be present, your presence and being with
them is the greatest gift you can give, becoming more compassionate with them.
And for them to know, I am here for you, the same way as I am here for you.
Every parent wants to know that they can rely on their children.
It’s not about the suffocating, demanding expectations, right?
It’s about knowing you’re there for me.
Let go of perfection, you can’t be perfect,
you can’t be everywhere, you can’t be hovering
over them, you cannot be a helicopter.
The same way as when we are teenagers, we say, “Stop, controlling me.”
It’s like a helicopter, every year watching, every move and
everything, the same way as our parents don’t want that from us.
And yet they want to know that in case there
is a call, in case they call, because they
don’t want to interrupt your life, they don’t want to be a
nuisance, they just want to know that you are there for them.
So love loudly, that’s what I say.
Love loudly.
Take your words of love, gratitude, being grateful.
One of the things that I do with my mom when
we have breakfast, we talk about my day, we talk about what’s to happen.
It’s just being in the loop, not necessarily,
needing to know everything, right?
So yeah, let go of the perfectionism, breathe
through the pain, which is knowing that there
is no right, there is no wrong in handling issues.
I’m grateful to be able to get up and leave,
and I was there to tend to her because
if I wasn’t, I would be calling 911 to get there.
It’s knowing how to respond instead of going into a panic.
Because what do I say?
It’s celebrating their life of who they are.
Like when I get home at night, having a
conversation, how was your day, what was your
day, even during their days, might be more mundane than your day?
Still, it’s like I want to know how you are,
I want to know how you feel, and just give
your attention to them just for a few moments.
And if they are in a home, if they’re in the
hospital, tending to them, being with them,
it doesn’t mean that you have to don’t over them all the time.
It also is a cultural thing, and in our culture,
we tend to our parents in a whole different
way, because I guess there is that expectation as well.
So here’s one thing I can say.
You are stronger than you think you are.
Believe me.
I’ve seen so many people go through hard, hardcore stuff.
And it’s like just when we think we can’t, we still do.
And I know you too can’t.
So there will always be with you.
Being here for when they leave their earthly
body and they join God there in the heaven.
And I still talk to my dad.
Sometimes I talk to one of my clients that I love dearly more.
I remember her, my grandma, because I take them and have them as part of me.
They are not here physically, but I still have conversations.
Sometimes I ask them like, do you understand what I’m going through?
It’s just literally talking to them because they’re always in your heart.
It’s the soul. It’s the spirit that truly matters.
So I hope you realize that if you need support, you are not alone.
You must have friends, family members, and by all means.
Reach out to me. I’m always here for you.
I offer 50-minute consultation.
So you can always book a consultation.
Just go to ihealwithin.com or just visit
lizaboubari.com
You know, you can DM me, message me, and I welcome the conversations that we have.
Because this is what my Heal Talk Tuesdays are all about.
It’s not always about inspiration.
Sometimes it’s information and knowing that I do listen and I am here for you.
And if I don’t have the information by all
means, I will find the information, the contacts, and what I can do to help you.
Again, this is Liza, your expert, hypnotherapist, specializing in women.
So I hope this message was better to receive you.
By all means please give me a new tune.
Please don’t require me, subscribe, and come.
Come be grow because by growing I can impact more.
And I’ve got amazing best things and everything
that I want to share with you next week.
If I may be even Friday, okay?
You’ll be seeing so much information and I
just left all this to the end because if you
are still with me to say the word I got it, got it.
And just like Nike, you got it. Okay?
Just you actually Nike is just doing it.
I hope they don’t.
All I want to do is make sure that you are taking care of.
So until next week, I bless you and ask for
God’s blessing to protect you as much as the
universal light surround you always. Bye bye.
No questions?
Okay. Bye bye.
Bye bye.