Healing the Father Wound

Welcome to Heal Talk Tuesday with Liza, where transformation begins as we
evoke, embrace, and evolve.
Greetings, greetings, greetings, and welcome
to Heal Talk Tuesday’s, this is Liza.
It’s so good to be with you, isn’t it?
Well, now that we are half of June,
and it feels gloomy here in Los Angeles,
I hope that your heart and your soul is bright and sunny.
So, today we’re going to be talking about Father’s Day, that is coming up,
Father Figures.
And yes, even though as a certified clinical hypnotherapist, breast
management consulting, I work primarily
with women as the women’s wellness expert,
I do see a lot of men and young
boys who come here for all kinds of
treatments.
So, as a hypnotherapist, a lot of people say, now why would anyone want to
come and see a hypnotherapist, or why would anybody want a coach?
Because I’m also certified as an action coach.
So, not every time you have to go into hypnosis, and we can have a dialogue
to make a shift, as I call it, going from pain, whatever it’s painting you,
to gain aspect, to gain a lot of perspective about who you are, what you.
think, what you want in life, and have this
clarity about your health and wellness,
plus your mindset, and we do a reset from the core, right? Which I call it,
a reset from the core set.
So, a little bit of humor in life will take you a long ways.
Yesterday I sent an email for my, those who are on my mailing list, talking
about Father’s Day, and I’ve already
had four gentlemen responding and saying,
“What a great newsletter it was.”
If you are following me by any chance, make sure that you prescribe to my
YouTube channel, plus if you want,
you can go to my website, put your name,
your email, you don’t even have to put your name automatically, just your
email, and get on our mailing list.
Because twice a month, we sent out
information that it is informative, it is.
inspiring, it is held, it’s about my
events and everything that it’s happening.
So this message was about gentlemen, men, fathers, and believe it or not, I
was talking about the father figure to someone because not everyone has
their father with them.
I know, I lost, I didn’t lose, that’s not true, because I have to be cogniz
ant of what I’m saying when I’m also helping my clients,
and you, my audience, my father
died seven years ago, and since then,
actually, you’re a year and a half later, I moved in with my mom, so to be
with her, and I moved back into the same bedroom that was mine, that at the
end of his life for the past 10 years, my father had occupied.
And I remember walking in there the first time and having everything that.
was mine all situated.
It was like I’m walking back into my
room, and then I realized, “Oh, one day.
I was in my room.” I was supposed to talk about this, but I remembered when
he was sick at the end, and I sat next to him holding his hand.
And we started talking about a lot of things.
And one of the things that we talked
about was his young times, how it was
when he was young, and he was sharing that how life was so different for
them, that they had more fun, and he
was saying, “We’ve had better times and.
more fun and more joy than you.
And then you are having nowadays.” And he was worried that I don’t have.
enough happy times that I’m working a lot, and he was just worried and
concerned because he knew his days were coming.
And I said, “It’s okay.” Because it
was this beautiful father and daughter
moment that was precious, and it seems,
when our parents get old, and I don’t
know where you are, if you just like
me, if you consider yourself the sandwich times a lot of people do because.
they have children and then they have their parents.
And so, taking care of the children
and parents eventually at an older age
become very childlike.
Childlike. And their needs. Plus, because they can’t control a lot of things
like they can’t drive and they get upset because all their life, they’ve
been in control.
They had the key to the car to go anywhere they wanted. And when the key is.
taken away from them or the car is taken
away from them, they get quite agitated.
And my father was not one of those. And I remember when he turned 90, he put
the key on the counter and said, “It’s time
for you to take care of the driving now.”
And, “Will you take me everywhere?” And it was, of course. Plus, there was
other means to have access and everything else. If you’re in the state of
California, there’s so many ways to take care of the elderly.
So, they become sensitive, they become childlike, they become irritated,
they become angry.
And we have to remember, who is this
person? Is this my father? Do you see
your father? Do you see the men in your life as their
title? You’re supposed to be the provider. You’re supposed
to be the man of the house. You’re supposed to be the caretaker. You’re supposed
to be the person who brings the bread.
Or, you’re just another human being.
As sensitive, as caring. And there are
days that you get angry, you can’t sleep, you’re agitated.
So, a part of all this is how we as children look up to our father figures,
what we learn. And yes, not everybody respects.
Or, likes their father. Not every
relationship is loving. And that’s a fact.
And not every relationship is that it’s respecting the father.
But the love is when all that anger and resentment and everything is.
happening. And I’ve seen this over and over with clients, with family
members. It’s like after they’re gone.
Suddenly, it’s all that guilt factor. I didn’t do this. How come that person
, my father didn’t do this, my father
didn’t do that, all that resentment and.
anger? What if instead of all that, you give yourself permission to find
ways to communicate and get to know your father as a person?
To find out what they like, what they don’t like. Something about their past
that you didn’t know. And one of the things I remember I did growing up, I
was like a shadow to my father. Wherever
he went, I went. I followed him everywhere.
And then, as young women, we grow
up as teenagers. And we shift. Some still
are very connected to their father. But we go in to starting dating and.
start communicating with the mother
figure about feelings, about who we are,
about the changing our own body.
Right? So having someone to communicate
and understanding both ways, facts.
of life. And I don’t know what your relationship it is with your father. But
they too feel a lot of burden and expectations upon them.
So a part of this is they go through anxiety. They’re still sensitive. And
they feel it. It’s just that they have not
been taught how to show their feelings.
And especially when they go into, if they’ve lost something and they are.
grieving, they usually shut down. Shut down their feelings.
Most of my clients that come in here, gentlemen, who come in here, they come
for panic and anxiety in Samna. Or that inkling of, I have not completed, I
have not done so. And the expectations that write upon them.
That automatically puts them in a place when they feel a lot of pressure to
take on habits or behaviors that becomes more negative.
I know one of my clients who came in and
he was like, my way out is to go gamble.
So gambling became a time and a place for him to leave the house and
distract himself. And to a point that
he wanted to stop it, he didn’t know
how to stop because even when we have a negative habit, if the negative
habit is satisfying, if it is feeding,
something, which in turn feels good.
Even if it is from away from home, away
from work, away from the daily challenges
and expectations, we stay in that
negative habit because we’re getting something out of it.
So, why do and when do people go to a therapist, to a coach, is first they
need help. Second, they are ready for the change.
As a therapist and coach, as a
hypnotherapist, I am not a therapist, I’m not
a psychologist. I want to make sure that is in place.
As a certified clinical hypnotherapist, one of the things is we deal with
the subconscious level. So, a part of the hypnosis, guided visualization,
taking a client into a trans factor,
it’s only to tap into the subconscious
level to the subconscious mind so we can understand
the cause, the trigger of what the patient is.
What caused, what was the trigger to
wanting a new behavior, a new challenge
. So, once that is understood, acknowledge, then it becomes easier to shift
and change a behavior.
Can be gambling, cheating, drinking, smoking and all those are still no
matter what the action, the causation
is an emotional connection to the action.
So, that’s what we do. When someone comes in here with panic and anxiety,
heart palpitating, let me give you another example. Today, I went to the.
doctor’s office, I had to pull the muscle.
So, for the last five days, I’ve been dealing with a little bit of a pain.
And for me to say I have discomfort and pain, that’s all about because I
have high tolerance of pain. I can manage pain, I can overcome pain factor.
And the same way as I do hypnosis and with no anesthesia for root canals, I.
‘ve done seven of them. And so, this, the first two days was very
excruciating, but I did myself hypnosis, manage the pain to a point that I
can function fluid.
So, he’s checking and he says, your
heartbeat is 54, your blood pressure is.
very low. I see you have a history of low blood pressure. And when I’m
saying low, that means my blood pressure is normally between 95 over 55.
Instead of the other way around, my heartbeat was 54. And he says, are you
in athlete? I said no. He says, do you exercise how many hours a day do you.
exercise? I do not.
But I know how to bring my blood pressure down, how to regulate it, how to
regulate and for years I have through my meditation the way I do my work,
automatically I have brought that level
to a point that this is where I function.
And the same goes with the fluctuation
of blood pressure and pain management.
. So, if I can do it and if I can teach my clients, I can also guide and.
teach you to regulate your pain level,
your blood pressure, your anxiety level.
And that’s one of the things most of my clients who come in here, gentlemen,
come in because of stress factors, anxiety, insomnia and negative habits
that they want to change.
I’ve hardly had any gentleman come in here for weight reduction. They’re not
as conscious or self conscious about
their weight, most men, as we are as women.
So do you understand when I’m talking men until they don’t hit obesity or
they’re on this fitness aspect of it, if they are shit, if they are
exercising and everything, they’re not here to manage their weight.
And when it gets to the obesity, they take care of themselves in a different
way or they haven’t managed it.
So, we as women look at weight as a more.
superficial as what is being shown, whereas
men look at weight as a health factor.
And I’m not saying women are not health conscious, but it is more of a body.
image. So, back to gentlemen and
fathers, anxiety, anger, and they can.
trigger an effect or help. Stress is a health
factor, anxiety is a health factor. So, it would be,
it behooves us as children to look at our parents and
our father and to see another aspect of them
that, underneath, what we see, there is a human
being with sensitivity, with love, with care and yes, with anxiety.
And yes, with some anger, resentments, and stress factors, everything. They
just handle it differently.
So, communicating with them, questioning them, you know, my newsletter that
went out, this was one of the responses.
Morning Liza, just a note to tell you that the article newsletter you said
below is wonderful and so full of truths and on many levels.
We have been blessed to with wonderful children and many grandchildren and.
about to be great grandparents in August.
They all let us know of their love. Thank you again for not only this
article, but your past services which enriched my life. Blessings, and I
love you. Thank you for this newsletter, George.
So, the newsletter talks about who
comes for hypnotherapy and how men are.
not as clear as understanding their
emotions. Sometimes we have to extract it.
And many of them who go through stress factor experience symptoms as anger,
aggression, pain in the body, which is psychosomatic, digestive problems,
which is the digesting of life, whatever it is going, because it’s from the
outside and they have not learned how to speak about women talk about their
emotions, men going, do something with it.
They either go fishing for them or they are with their buddies at a cigar
smoking and they sit and have a cigar time and wear with the wiskeys or they
go golfing or they do something to get their stress out.
Women love to go shopping and do their self-care, get their massages or talk
to a friend. Women love to share stories, right?
So, men also get to have this risky behaviors, negative behaviors, feeling.
unexcited about things and they might even go into depression.
And yes, trouble having sleeping.
So, how I said you can help them show that.
you are grateful.
Had a cup of tea, cup of coffee. You know,
we talk about couples having date nights.
When was the last time you had dinner with your parents? When was the last
time you had half an hour just sitting, maybe not even speaking, but.
watching TV together, watching sports with your father?
And genuinely, like I did with my dad, every time we would sit in the car,
mom was always in the back. My dad was next to me.
And I would just hold his head in
the middle, counsel. And it was a ritual.
I would drive and I would hold my dad’s hand just for a moment.
And then I would release it so I can get back on driving. But that, like one
minute or two minutes of holding his
hand or placing my hand on his hand was.
just a gesture of.
I’ve got you. I love you. I’m with you.
And that’s all they want from us.
And that’s all we can give them as children because we can get angry at them
as much as they get angry with others.
But genuinely, being grateful, good or bad, this is the life we chose. This.
is the parents we have. We don’t have to like everything about them.
But we do, deep inside, as much as they love us, love them.
So I hope today’s message was beneficial
to you because sometimes we have to.
validate their pain and give them positive reinforcement that in this world.
of chaos and challenge and expectations,
they do matter as much as we do.
Thank you very much for being a part of today’s episode. And if you are
celebrating Father’s Day or you have a gentleman in your world, say thank.
you, as I thank you. God bless you and may the universal light surround you.
See you next week. Bye bye.
And if you like this, share it, subscribe and go to YouTube and you’ll see
the rest of all my podcasts.