How to Handle Stress

Welcome to Heal Talk Tuesdays with Liza, where
transformation begins as we evoke, embrace, and evolve.
Greetings greetings, greetings, and welcome
to Heal Talk Tuesdays. This is Liza, your
expert hypnotherapist and stress management
consultant. Hope this day is a wonderful day
for you. You know that magic has already
happened because you are here. So I like to say
when we open our eyes, when we are present, when
we are living in the living, that’s already.
a magic. Why? Because frankly, I think we don’t
know what’s going to happen the next moment
from now, an hour from now, a year from
now. And yet, as humans, we always want the
best for our children, our families, and for
ourselves. Today, I’m going to be talking
about stress. There are three levels of stress,
and one of the stress is how we cope with
stress, how we manage stress, and how we master
stress. So stress is literally all around.
us. And I don’t think there is a human being
that has not experienced some sort of stress,
because stress is from the outside, but how we deal with it, how we cope with it, how
we manage it, or master it is about you,
about us. So let’s delve into this. And if you
have mastered stress, by all means, please
let me know how you did it so that I too can
master it. I like to say, when we start
coping with it, stress is a term we use every
single day, coping, managing a lot of coaches,
promote, come and learn how to manage stress,
or cope with stress. But no one is talking
about mastery. Where does mastery come from? I
like to say, when we talk about coping, and I
don’t know how you cope with it, that coping
is like, I need to have the tools to cope
with something. It’s struggling with stress,
and saying, I don’t know how to cope with it,
that means I am out of control. It’s happening,
and I have no knowledge of how to control it.
Okay. So in a way, it’s like I can do something
about my stress, and yet I don’t know what to
do. When we start thinking about that, it’s
in a way, modeling, and giving yourself doubt,
because there’s financial stress, family.
stress, physical health stress, children’s stress,
moving stress, relationship stress, marriage.
can be a stressful thing. You know, I had a
friend who used to be an amazing person, well,
I still have that right. But she’s amazing
in taking tests. Okay. She can go, she’s done
the bar test, she is an attorney, and can practice
in four states. And for her to take a bar
exam was just like drinking. It’s like she
was studying, and that a day before she would
just glimpse, go take a test, past, even to
California bar. When I said, apparently this is one of
the hardest bar exam, she says, it’s just another
test, and she did it. She had taken the studies,
and then she went flying colors. So the
fundamental belief is that when it comes to coping,
that you have no control, you have no choice,
and you have no voice on that personal stress,
and what’s happening to you. Now, let’s see how
you identify with it, because there is a lot of.
people who, taking a test, is something that is
quite burdensome. And I know, long before I started
doing the work that I am doing right now, which
is amazing. I’ve been practicing as a clinical
hypnotherapist for over 22 years. And I only, and
don’t on me this when I was doing a speaking for
my hypnotherapy conference yesterday, actually
Sunday. And when they asked me to send the information
how long I’ve been practicing and they validated,
it’s like, wow, I, taking a test for me, prior to
being a hypnotherapist and doing all that, when
I was in the legal field and wanting to be an.
attorney, I went for my LSAT exam. And I froze both
times. Now, taking a test is not very easy for me,
and apparently, I put it in a way that, well, maybe
I was not supposed to be an attorney, because now
it’s a perception. How my cope with certain
things are different than when I cope with them,
because now I turn around and say, I wonder what
is the reason that this happened. I wonder why
I’m going through all this. I wonder if you think
the same way. Do you? When something goes wrong,
do you beat yourself up with it or on it? Or you
turn around and say, okay, I’m done. There must be
an existing what’s happening. What am I attracting
to myself? Or what is it that I want? And yet,
I’m not attracting to myself. And I’m going to
share something personal with you in just a few.
more minutes. So what is the next level of managing stress? Managing is like
it’s how we communicate the message. We can modify
and reduce certain stress levels and how it’s
impacting you. So you recognize that there is
stress. You recognize what is the stress factor. And
then you say, how am I supposed to manage it?
Whereas coping is, I don’t know what to do.
Managing is, I know what it is. I understand it.
Now I have to find a way to manage it and put it.
into perspective. This is stressing me or that is
a stress factor. And how am I dealing or managing
my own internal stress level? So by learning to
bring down the stress level, it’s affecting you,
it’s affecting your body, it’s affecting your
psyche spiritually, definitely. And that internal
stress level within yourself. Managing it is to
not only having the tools and the techniques,
but knowing what to do with it. Yesterday, I was
under a lot of stress due to external factors,
and in order for me to fly off the handle, I realized
I am under a duress, which is a lot of stress.
And at that very moment when I recognized something and I could have screened,
I could have cried, which I almost did.
Actually, tears were well-bop and I was
to a point of like it was almost shaking. The first
thing I did was recognize that it’s affecting me
tremendously. And the only reason was, is that
fight or flight, right? So either fight with it,
get more angrier, or flight, it’s flight off
the handle. At that moment, I decided one thing.
I’m going to ground myself and I walked out of the
office, I walked outside and I went for a 10-minute.
walk. So while I’m walking outside, this is how
it’s managed. Understanding what the stress is,
who the culprits are, what can I do about it? What
can I do about it? That means it’s in my control.
And then asking, what is it that I am
attracting? What can I do, shall I hold on to it?
Or as I am walking, drop it, release it, let
it go, and fly. Get a hold of yourself, girl.
It’s not the end of the world.
Period. I like using this word.
Either snap out of it, or let’s put a period. That means full stop right here.
So my stress level, where I had trepidation, I
had already tears willing up, is like release.
Swallow my saliva, knowing that I’ve got oxygen, I
can breathe, I am walking, I am safe, I can manage.
And at that very moment, turned around and
saw someone walking a dog. And you know what?
For just that moment, because that’s what life
is, just for this moment, even right now with you,
if you have any kind of a stress happening,
someone is in a bad situation, it’s affecting you.
Stress level may be at home. Stress can be at work. Stress can be personal, financial,
professional, no matter what it is. Do you
have to own it? Or you can turn around and say,
just for today, just for now, I can manage this. It’s not the end of the world.
And by doing that, it’s you take that into your own
hand, and just like a dryer, or you can play with it.
And instead of having a dryer, I’m playing with
it, because if you do this exercise right here,
right now, I’ll put your hands together right
here. And just imagine you have a ball of a dryer
oil that it moves and it rotates. And literally,
you can see the inside, and maybe there’s another
globe inside. And as you just concentrate on
that, concentrate at the palm of your hands,
your right hand, your left hand, and feel that
movement. Just literally focus only in the center.
And as you gently begin to do this, you feel this tremendous.
energy sensation in between
the palm of both hands. It’s this.
energy of I can wiggle it, I can move it. And frankly,
everything in between is in the palm of my hand.
I can close it. I’m feeling the sensation so
hard. It’s like a hot, warm, pure sensation.
Yes, it’s even tickling me. And I don’t know how
you feel, but when I feel something like this,
a sensation like this, it’s very much, I feel like
I’m connected, physically, mentally, emotionally.
And it’s this loving the sensation I can play
with it. It’s like expanding it. And I can.
accordion. This is what it is. This is called
managing it. And then you turn around and say,
I master it. So what does mastering your stress
all about? Mastering is believing that you can
alter it, that you can put the same, that one way to
ask, stress, or it is. Just imagine, just smash it.
It’s literally smash it. Clap-sick.
And play with it. And that stressor,
whatever it was the cause of that stress.
Right? No longer has that influence over you.
It’s believing that you can alter the severity, the
duration, and understand that you are responsible
for interrupting that. By knowing that, it becomes
yours. So that stress factor, as a matter of fact,
before I mastered mine later in the afternoon,
it took me a while because at that moment,
I was not so aligned because it’s like mastering
it is like, stop, stress, now. It’s telling the
line. It’s commanding. Stress has no power over
me. And it becomes a psychological. It becomes an
internal. It’s, you’re not allowing that stress
level to escalate. I stopped at the escalation of it.
I came back and functioned for the rest of the day. As a matter of fact, I was.
80% much calmer. But here is what happened.
And had I mastered it instead of managing it,
managing it perfectly, it would have been
null and void. But because there was still a
linger of annoyance, the person I had a
consultation with felt the energy through even Zoom.
And he asked me, he says, “Are you annoyed with
my answers?” And it was just a consultation.
And by all means, I was not annoyed with anything
about him. But I want you to realize that when.
we have not released either a trauma, stress,
someone who has said something that affects you,
a smell that you have smelled and is just still
lingering in there. The trigger point that it’s still
lingering with you either momentarily or hours or
days, weeks, months, years after years. I want you to
realize it is affecting you in one form or another.
And that is what I work with. I can go from coping
to managing to mastering because by the end of
the night, I had already mastered by the time I
got home, that stress level was gone. This
morning, it’s a new day, it’s a new stress level,
but recognizing what it is that it’s not part
of the day, it’s a new day, it’s a new me,
it’s a new managing, it’s a new mastering.
Because what happened yesterday is not supposed to
affect me today. It’s there, but the effects,
again, it’s yours. The effect of how it’s.
affecting you physically, mentally and emotionally,
is only in your control. People can push our buttons,
but then again, as your button, just like this
button, right? You can put it out of order.
You can put that button out of order. And just imagine, here’s a metaphor for you,
standing in front of an elevator, and you want to go to the penthouse,
but there’s different floors that the elevator
may stop at depending on who’s pushing,
what levels they are, what floors they are, because
they too want to either go up or down, right?
So here you are on the ground level, and you push
the button to the elevator, so the elevator can
come, and the doors can open so you can get in
and go to the penthouse, because what’s awaiting
you at the penthouse, you’re going to a penthouse,
a beautiful restaurant, because someone is waiting
for you. And if you are in a rush, however low
this is, that when you’re in a rush, I take one day
at a time, yay Jasmine, I love you. Have you ever
realized that when you want to get into an elevator
and get somewhere, that elevator stops at every
floor, and you keep waiting, doing this. It’s like,
“Gosh, I’m late, I’m late, I’m late.” And the
more stress you become the slower the elevator is,
it’s uncanny. You might be in a traffic, you need
to get somewhere, and red light after red light.
Why? It’s not because the red light knows you’re
there, and it’s slowing it down. It’s because
what we attract internally, that we’re not
coping with it, and then we get to do red lights.
Everything is about what we allow. I know you might turn around and say,
“What’s happening in my life is not what I wanted. This is not what I asked for.”.
And yet so much of our experiences, so much of what’s happening is not that we ask for,
but what we attract because of the
internal, the internal stress, the internal,
anguish within what we believe. And if we get into a flow and realize,
that one affected this one, this one affected this
one, and I see the lesson. I am exactly where I
am because of where I came from. And then I want
you to understand a pattern because of our beliefs,
and the comfort zone that you are in. And when you
want to make a change and you start modifying the
change, you go out of your comfort zone. And
just like that elevator, if you start pushing and
pushing that button, and let’s say that elevator
has stopped at the fourth level, and it just broke,
just stopped. No matter how many times you push
that elevator, the button, it’s out of order.
So I want you to know one thing. Instead of
waiting for this elevator to come down and you
banging on that button, why don’t you turn around
and go to another elevator or take the stairs,
or take that elevator on the other side. And you
reduce your stress, and you push one button, and the
elevator comes while this one is still stuck on the
fourth floor, and you get to go to where you want.
Sometimes we are so innovative in our
comfort zone with our thoughts of the past,
of what we know, that when we want to make that
change, if you are not practicing the new way of being,
your internal dialogue of your passport bringing
you back because it’s afraid of the new things.
So in order for any change to become
a transformational change to happen,
it’s about the pain factor. The pain has to be
either so bad that you no longer want to be there,
or the gain of what you want has to be so
wonderful that you can’t wait for having it.
So in your life, take a look at it. Number one, how are you
coping with stress? Are you coping? Are you managing it?
Coping means you feel out of control, you need
tools and techniques, and that’s what I’m here for.
The second one is I manage it because I know what
it is, and I can take care of this. It may take me
longer, but I know what to do. And mastering is
that the moment it happens, you acknowledge it,
you understand it, you use your tools and
techniques, and you master it, and you move on.
You move on. That means instead of waiting for this
elevator to come and for you to get agitated and
angry, you turn around and you find another
elevator or other means to get to where you want.
As a hypnotherapist, this is what we do. We work
with the subconscious level, first giving you the
tools and techniques of how to manage habits,
behaviors, stressors, right? Or tap deeper into the
subconscious, and that’s where everything happens.
Shift the old patterns, shift the old ways of
managing things, things that have been weighing
you down, and climb. So I hope today’s message.
was beneficial to you. I would love for you
to share how this message was something that
became beneficial to you, that you can use it from
now on, and if there is anything by all means,
I can help you shift the habit, a pattern, a
behavior, and the struggles that you’re going through.
giving a call. My name is Lise Bovari, and by
trade, I’m a clinical help-no-purpose, and yet,
a human being that just like you and anyone else goes through the same things you do.
So until next week, I bid you goodbye, and I
wish you all the best. God bless you, and may the
universal light surround you always. Bye, Jassy.