The Path to Self-Kindness and Healing

Welcome to Heal Talk Tuesdays with Liza, where
transformation begins as we evoke, embrace, and evolve.
Greetings, greetings, greetings, greetings,
and welcome to Heal Talk Tuesdays with Liza.
It’s so good to be here with you, isn’t it?
Well, today we’re going to be talking about few
things, and let me give you a synopsis of this.
One is, instead of loving yourself how to be kinder with yourself,
and you can start with that, that’s where healing starts.
By the way, healing does happen.
Second thing is, we’re going to be talking about this incredible, and I’m honored
to say, I’m going to have a special guest next week, and his name is Greg Reed.
Greg Reed is not only a keynote speaker, he’s an entrepreneur.
He is a businessman, a rainmaker, which I literally
believe he is a rainmaker, and he is a producer.
So, he’s just an amazing person.
If you want to know anything about not only events, but
change of life in the business world as an entrepreneur,
as a speaker, as a producer of movies, and an author
of several books, you have to tune in next week.
So, let’s talk about this.
I did a post on Instagram on a message that I had received, by the way,
thank you so much for all the messages and the text that I received.
And one of my messages was, how can I love myself when no one else has loved me?
That’s a very valid question.
And I felt like a dear Abbey, or Dr. Laura, for a moment, and I had to ponder and think
about, what is it that we lack in our life and what is it that we want in our life?
So, to feel love, because not every one of us know how to love
ourselves, and what exactly is love ourselves, which is a core belief.
Love is a core belief, so is fear.
And so this is when I told her, I said, what if you start by small
little steps and start with kindness and being kind to yourself?
Have you had an experience of someone in your
life being kind to you? And she said yes.
And so, start thinking about all the kind things that has
happened to you and the people who have been kind to you.
Maybe they don’t love you, or it’s not that they don’t love you, it’s what you feel.
And that’s exactly what I want to talk to you. If you don’t
feel a love by someone, is it because you don’t feel it?
Or is it that they don’t love you? So, because a lot of
people can love you, except you don’t feel loved by them.
And that’s an internal thing. You know, HealWithin
started by realizing that healing starts within us.
So, when we don’t feel it, that means we are not in
congruent with ourselves. We’re not taking care of ourselves.
And it’s okay for you to take time to do nothing instead
of being busy with some things either going on the
screen or distracting yourself with habits and behaviors
that takes you away from feeling your feelings.
That’s right, feeling your feelings. And that’s not easy.
It’s not easy when you are feeling anxious to sit with it and say, “Okay,
I am feeling anxious and I can just sit with this and this will go away.”.
Because feelings do fade. So, when you’re
angry, just be angry, know that you’re angry,
become one with your anger as to why you’re angry instead of distracting your feelings.
Distracting yourself with something else or blowing up on someone else.
It’s like having a communication with yourself to understand
your own internal feelings in order for you to validate yourself.
And that in itself, this is an act of kindness.
What if my clients yesterday?
Few of course, because she was in an accident.
So, as a clinical hypnotherapist, one of the things that we do is tap
into the subconscious because the cognitive thinking and allies in judging
mind can give you all kinds of answers, but it’s not the emotional
connection to the action or to the problem to the habit or the behavior.
So, through hypnosis, one of the things that I asked
was, if you could just close your eyes and on the
count of 3, 1, 2, 3, for you to tap into the first
traumatic experience that you had or you can remember.
And the first thing she said was, I’m in the car and
the weight of the therapy that we do the timeline and
everything, all the questions that I asked, what she
recalled was being in the car when she was 12 years old.
And being left alone by her sister who was 18 years old,
that she left her there to go and meet with her boyfriend.
And apparently it took longer than it needed to be.
And although 12 years old is not a child, but the feeling
of abandonment that she had at that moment being in
the car felt similar to her getting into an accident by
herself and hitting the curbside and having her car turn.
And she felt alone, she felt out of place that
she had no one to help her and fear to go over.
See, the beauty of our subconscious mind, the
beauty of our body and the subconscious is that
emotional component is always just like your body
there to protect you, never ever to harm you.
But that protection was also creating a fear factor that reminded her of when she
was 12 years old and then we went even
further back to remind her of something else.
Understanding that this is not happening at this moment
and you’re in total control and you can visualize this.
And you can do the same thing and realize that when you
are depressed, angry, sad, all the emotions, anxious,
feeling overwhelmed, feeling like really upset or
rejected, which is one of the things that I talk about.
Rejection is also poor and the abandonment.
And I said, if you can just watch this like a movie, how would you feel?
Now, if you do the same thing in the privacy of your own comfort
at home, whatever it is that is bothering you, it’s affecting you.
If you can tap into it, you can do it with a journaling
and realize that when you come to be kind to yourself,
to listen to your body, if there is a part of your body
that it’s having a discomfort, where in your body is it.
Where do you feel this discomfort or you want to run away from and just sit with the
body again? Is it your stomach? Is it your heart palpitating? Do you get sweaty palms?
And if you do, just hold on to that.
And if you can breeze through it, instead of running away from it, it’s
called nourishing yourself, nurturing yourself and being kind to you.
That’s the first step.
The second step is that as you are sitting right there with everything
that is going on, just give yourself one loving word, a word of kindness, a
word, a gesture of kindness, you can hold yourself and say, “I’m okay. I
am safe. I’ll be fine. This too shall pass. I will give it to you more.”.
And I’m okay. You know, automatically, I do the
same thing. And when I close my eyes, it’s not to
disconnect from here. It’s just at that very moment
automatically as you saw, I tap into my body.
This is so automatic for me and it will become so automatic for you
as you begin to practice. Self-hypnosis is something that I also guide
you and teach you so that you can practice at home and know that you
can be in total control of your mind, your body and of your emotions.
That’s right. Healing does take place. So the next one is on all the things you
can do for yourself. That is literally empowering is for you to learn to worry no.
So you can say no more often than when you say yes to please someone else.
Come to honor yourself, sitting that boundary that
when someone is asking for you to do something
where you can do something, just to please them,
you take a moment. Is this what I really want to do?
Or if you’re at work, you have to do because
it is part of your assignment or is it always
because you want to please someone else for
them not to get angry, not to be upset with you.
So sit with that and start analyzing that part for yourself.
The next one is celebrate small little wins every single day. When you say no
and they say okay and that’s it. And it may be uncomfortable but you did it.
When you want something you go and do it. When you want to take
a walk and you go around the block and then you realize I did it.
Start stop analyzing or putting too much pressure that you
have to do in a mile. You can do just walk around the block.
And that small little win needs a celebration.
And you know the celebration is not necessarily by
distracting yourself with another food or drink or
cigarettes is just to sit with yourself and say I did it.
I did it.
I did it.
That’s it. And just stay with that. And you will realize that your tummy feels good.
You might even hear a gurgling sound. And the last thing is
positive gratitude, gratefulness and at that moment being grateful.
Did you know that you can just sit and be grateful to your fingers and to
your hands. I know it feels silly to your legs that do to walking for you.
And every part of who you are, just be grateful.
No one is perfect. Believe me, no one is perfect.
There are no perfections. And in this universal way that
we are all on Mother Earth cohabiting with each other.
Not everybody loves everyone. I’m sure you
know this. By now you know this. Look around
to you within your family, within your
community, even in our country and globally.
And yet millions of people are doing what prayers.
Generally, doing a lot of self-help in the last decade or two, there is more self-help
books. There is more people coming together doing healing work. Prayer is huge.
And all these self-help doing yoga and retreats and everything.
Everyone is striving for what? Inner peace, gratefulness,
appreciation, self-love, self-acceptance, self-appreciation,
self-validation, and everything you do for yourself is exactly that.
So self-love starts with gestures, words of kindness and taking care of yourself,
just small little things. If you brush your teeth every day, that’s self-care.
You shower, self-care, you cut your hair, you put your makeup
on, everything that you do is self-care. And especially ladies.
Self-care, especially when you have children,
and they truly are looking up to you. You may
not notice it that they do look up to you.
They watch everything that you do, and you say.
Actually, they don’t know any better. All they want is your
kindness and they too want to feel love, just like you.
So, and this goes because we’re all human. As human is called being
humanity. So I have this thing that I share and I say life is like a camera.
Focus on what is important, capture the good times, the good memories, and banked
in. Remember I’ve been talking about banking
in memories, especially the good ones.
And the developed from the negative, and if that doesn’t work, you
are in total control of your life, your choices. Take another picture.
So focus, capture, and develop. And if you don’t like it, just like
all the selfies you take, and you delete it, you can do the same thing.
At all times, you are in total control because you do matter.
So that was my message today. And next week, I am so excited. I
want you to tune in next Tuesday, 12 noon right here on Facebook and
by all means as always. If you like this message, if this information
was beneficial to you by all means, tune in, not only next week.
My guest, Dr. Greg Reed, and subscribe. Share and like. So see you next week. Bye.